The “Couple and Family” axis of Fondacio in Togo has been developing regular and constant activities for couples in Lomé for several years now.
“Your God will be my God, your life will be my life, wherever you go, I will go with you” (Ruth 1:16)
These activities are organized according to two major educational dynamics.
A dynamic of construction and rooting of Fondacio couples organized in fraternities and a dynamic of evangelization of couples through a proposal of training and preparation of fiancés for marriage, of strengthening of conjugal capacities of the various groups of couples and of awakening to the relationship as a couple and to the discernment of young people in a duo-journey.
What motivates and mobilizes this Fondacio couple mission is to see African couples rise up (stand up) fulfilled in authentic love and mutual giving to their spouse. It is also to allow couples to strengthen their relationship and their communion with Christ and to learn more about building an educational family on the basis of Christian life and to communicate, in the Church, their hope. It is also to work to restore the identity of the ''couple'', to give it a Christian backbone according to God's initial plan (Gen 2:24). We have therefore taken the option of promoting at first glance the basic reality of the couple, by seeking to (re)give it its place, its meaning and its value, realities less present in our African culture where the place of the community family is stronger and more significant.
1. “The couple and the family” at Fondacio Togo
5 CF fraternities organize monthly activities each year on various themes of the couple and the family. They aim to deepen married life on the basis of the spirituality of Fondacio and they are all inserted in a parish:
- The CF family of Atiegou, 10 couples. Emphasis last year on “conflict management in the home”
- The CF d'Agoè family, 13 committed couples and 22 couples-friends who participate in the two annual weekends including the last one: ''Trust and Fidelity embrace: to the couple, life and happiness''.
- The CF frat of Kégué, 6 couples. Axis: “Prayer and spiritual communion as a couple”
- The Nukafu CF frat, 5 couples, hardly worked last year.
- The youngest, Totsi's brother, 8 couples. Axis: "Alliance and Marriage"
Far from being slowed down by the covid19 pandemic crisis, the activities of the fraternities quickly found adequate and adapted strategies which respected the pace of meeting adopted by using internet communication….
2. The couple output mission
This mission made it possible to offer in 2020:
- The 4 parishes are requesting a service to prepare fiancés for marriage on fundamental themes of married life (120 fiancés trained).
- A training course for young people on emotional life in 2 parishes (120+500 young people)
- A “Journey as a couple” course of 12 sessions for 6 young duos on a romantic journey: benchmarks and discernment on life and romantic relationships.
- Availability for couples from the “Equipes Notre Dame” to lead a 2-day spiritual retreat (80 couples).
The transition to the reality of becoming a couple is often not easy and requires tireless work of awareness and support for couples in Togo: " This mystery is great " says St. Paul. Our fraternities, faced with the hazards of organization and the couples encountered, the various tensions and difficulties, lead a recurring fight of humanization and spiritualization to which Fondacio has, in its DNA, decided to participate and bring its competence for the greater glory of God and the salvation of the world.
Some testimonials:
“Our participation in the monthly meetings of the fraternity has changed many things in our relationship: in personal development and the fulfillment of the couple and the family. We learned how to set up the family budget which allows us to better manage our finances... We were also able to have our religious wedding in 2020 thanks to the multifaceted support of the members of the fraternity.” (Grace and William)
"Plunged into a deep marital crisis, almost to the point of breaking up, we received an invitation for a Fondacio couple weekend. There, we became aware of our problem: lack of communication, attention from one to the other and quality time... We perceived that our life as a couple was modeled on the model of our respective parents; I was trying to change my wife, to make her adopt my vision of life as a couple. 5 years later I had not succeeded. After 4 years of training at the Fondacio couple school, I realized then that the person to change was rather me and not my wife Joséphine. Our couple was gradually restored; we committed to celebrating the religious marriage which has lasted for 3 years now and have welcomed today 2 fulfilled children." (Angelot and Marie-Joséphine)
"After our religious wedding in 2014, we were looking for how to best live our marriage to impact the young people around us. This led us to accept the invitation to participate in the Nukafu fraternity training courses. These ongoing training courses contribute to the harmony and consolidation of our married life. Through them, we are aware of being strengthened and equipped to be able to reach out to other young people, help them make better choices and ultimately commit to marriage." (Gertrude and Alexis)
"Fondacio has particularly brought a treasure to our couple through which we have really progressed: sharing, dialogue and in-depth communication. We have acquired a greater ease in sharing, in expressing ourselves, with courage, each as a family. For example, when sharing the Word of God, a real richness often emerges in the exchanges born of the understanding and intelligence of the Word...
Me, Véronique, I had difficulty sharing and I received with anger and impatience the hurtful words or attitudes of my husband towards me. With the teachings and the sharing in fraternity, I learn to welcome everything, to dare to express myself, to ask my husband for dialogue and to give each other forgiveness. " (Véronique and Norbert)
“Benefits of our couple at Fondacio:
- Support from the engagement stage to religious marriage
- Numerous training courses and retreats improving the moral health of the couple and highlighting the development of each other through the different languages of love
- Initiation of times of sharing, dialogue, prayer, and sharing the Bible with the family and children
- Awareness of the need for family and school educational support for children adapted to their age.
- Equipped to become trainers and facilitators of couples cells
Difficulties:
- Incompatibility of the schedules of the members of the couple preventing being faithful to the moments of dialogue
- In the education of children versus the multiple, sometimes perverse, proposals of social networks.
(Cyrille and Bernadette)
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